Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer.
Here, you can read a variety of survivor’s stories and those of their partners. There are lots of useful resources for your own journey. And this is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
The roots of this blog lie in the step by step sharing of my story as it unfolded over the last three and a half years, together with others who have different experiences. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap. It includes direct and personal accounts of our body, head, heart and soul and partner journeys as well as the inner and outer resources that helped us along the way. Grateful thanks to my wife and an increasing number of other cancer survivors and their partners for sharing stories on these pages.
The goals: rebuild health, expand identities, make the most of what we have.
Before and after my surgery: short videos
Get the lowdown in 6 minutes: click above for short, revealing videos before and after prostate cancer treatment
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Addressing the mental, physical and relationship issues. Includes explicit language and illustrations.
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Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
Day 1844: Experience with Levitra (Vardenafil)
My experience with Levitra (vardenafil) has been slightly more positive than with Cialis (tadalafil) or Viagra (sildenafil). It definitely helps the quality of my erections. The side effects are slightly more bearable than with the alternative drugs. Perhaps this is due [...]
Five years on: Prostate surgery saved my life from cancer
28 February 2025: It's five years since my robotic assisted radical prostatectomy in 2020. In this video I look back with gratitude at the surgery that saved my life. I give thanks for the network of love and support that has [...]
Why I wrote a book about erectile differences
I feel like my erectile differences and those of millions of other men and our partners have been buried behind a wall of shame and effective silence. If mentioned at all, the term used for our condition is "erectile dysfunction." [...]
Male multiple orgasms, an unexpected gift after prostatectomy
By Michael Ward Since my radical prostatectomy at the age of 67, I have been lucky enough to develop the capacity for multiple orgasms - two to five in quick succession. I have found the experience far more intense and almost [...]
Finding the erotic in male softness
It's time to accept erectile difference and celebrate what's erotic about soft male genitalia. About half of all men over 50, and most men treated for prostate cancer, experience some form of erectile dysfunction (ED). But for millions of affected men [...]
Day 1715: How reverse Kegels help with penile rehab
Today I am celebrating the gift of subtler forms of pelvic floor recovery after prostate cancer, including the aptly named "Reverse Kegels." Toronto's only male pelvic floor specialist physiotherapist has opened me up to new dimensions of pelvic floor health, more [...]
Subtler stages of recovering sexual function after prostate surgery
July 18, 2024: Over 50% of the nearly three thousand men in the 2022 EUPROMS study reported sexual function to be a big or moderate problem. I think the main part of my erectile nerve recovery is nearly complete 4 and [...]
Partner story 4: Senior sex can be fun
By Colleen Dawson We're finding that senior sex can be fun, provided we are flexible about outcomes. As we explore the different situation after my husband's prostate surgery, we are also aging into our late 60s and early 70s. But as [...]
Doctors not communicating prostate cancer treatment side effects
The debilitating side effects of prostate cancer treatment must be one of the world's worst kept secrets. But physicians still struggle to communicate this clearly to their patients when they are making treatment decisions. This is according to a journal article [...]
4 years since radical prostatectomy
The long term outcomes since my radical prostatectomy are very good, particularly from the point of view that my cancer is still undetectable on my regular checkups. In my quality of life there have been clear losses and gains. To get [...]
Partners talking about sexual changes after prostate cancer
It's often difficult talking with your partner about sex after prostate cancer. I am curious to hear from readers, what is it like for you? For me and many people I have spoken with, it can feel like having to cover [...]
Guest Post 2: Re-imagining penetration
By Wayne May When we make love, speak, share, dance, write or create - don't we want to penetrate or be penetrated? What if it could be in a different way? Perhaps some of us who have lost our ability [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
- Please comment on individual blog entries and ask questions. You do need to give your valid email address (to avoid spam) and your contact info won’t be published or abused in any way. You are welcome to use a nickname or even “anonymous.”
- Use the Contact page to open up broader topics
- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)