Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer.
Here, in the blog you can read a variety of survivor’s stories and those of their partners. There are lots of useful resources for your own journey, including videos and my new book. And this is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
The roots of the blog below lie in the step by step sharing of my story as it unfolded over the last five years, together with others who have different experiences right up to the present day. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap.
It includes direct and personal accounts of our body, head, heart and soul and partner journeys as well as the inner and outer resources that helped us along the way. Grateful thanks to my wife and an increasing number of other cancer survivors and their partners for sharing stories on these pages. They also helped inspire and inform the book featured on this page.
The goals: rebuild health, expand identities, make the most of what we have.
Before and after my surgery: short videos
Get the lowdown in minutes: click above for short, revealing videos before and after prostate cancer treatment
Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
Prostate cancer screening saved my life
5 March 2020: I have learned a lot about prostate cancer screening tests. I was lucky enough to be diagnosed in time, before it had spread. Which is why I found myself knocking on Dr Lorraine Becker's door with a big [...]
Day 7: Cancer close to spreading beyond prostate
5 March 2020: Yesterday my surgeon told me just how close my cancer had come to spreading beyond my prostate gland. It's a huge relief to know that my doctor's hunch last November and a quick response to her initial warning [...]
Day 6: Robotic-assisted laparoscopic surgery is magnificent treatment
4 March 2020: I am hugely blessed to have gone through such major surgery so easily and to be quite obviously on the mend. Robotic assisted laparoscopic surgery is absolutely magnificent treatment. It is indeed minimally invasive - given that they [...]
Day Zero: radical prostatectomy surgery
Imagine being on that table: Operating Theatre with Robotic Surgery Machine 27 February 2020: Up at 4 am, Uber to hospital in the dark for my radical prostatectomy. I'm so scared and yet something is reassuring about all [...]
Research part 2: Prostate surgery details
24 January 2020: Part of what I like about my surgeon is that he can explain so clearly what my options are and how it all works. Once I made my choice of Radical Robotic-Assisted laparoscopic Prostatectomy (RARP), he also backed [...]
Disclosing my cancer diagnosis at work
13 February 2020: Do I disclose my cancer diagnosis at work? My first instinct was to be completely open and tell everybody and anybody who’s interested. After all, cancer affects lots of people and it’s good to show and share vulnerability, [...]
Guest post: Prostate cancer treatment affected by prior cancer and COVID
By Pramod Daya, Founder and CEO, Mindspring Computing Here's the story of how my prostate cancer treatment options were affected by prior cancer experience. I'm a business leader and founder of Mindspring Computing. My prostate cancer story started as a sidenote [...]
Making space and making my decision about prostate cancer treatment
24 January 2020: Today I made my decision about prostate cancer treatment. But first I needed some space. Making space for good decisions My December 2019 MRI scan was pretty certain: clinically significant cancer likely in the left peripheral zone of [...]
Research part 1: Learning from gay men
15 January 2020: I want to know what it will really be like if I have my prostate removed. The technical stuff is not enough. What will it feel like? The most comprehensive answers so far have come from studies within [...]
Partner story 1: From diagnosis to surgery
A cancer diagnosis affects the partner and the marriage about as much as the patient. Big thanks to my wife Colleen for sharing her side of the story. Here is Part One: This journey started for me with Mish complaining of [...]
Sexuality | libido | identity
6 December 2019 Now I know I most likely have prostate cancer, and that my preferred treatment is radical prostatectomy surgery. I am reaching out to close friends and family for support. What looms large is that the treatment is likely [...]
Daytime gratitude, night time despair
4 Dec 2019 I got the results of my MRI scan today – PIRADS level 4. Google says it means 80% likely it's prostate cancer. Pretty upsetting. I am very hopeful about catching it soon. They say no signs of [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
- Please comment on individual blog entries and ask questions. You do need to give your valid email address (to avoid spam) and your contact info won’t be published or abused in any way. You are welcome to use a nickname or even “anonymous.”
- Use the Contact page to open up broader topics
- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)