Rediscovering life and manhood after prostate cancer
I was diagnosed with prostate cancer at the end of 2019 and feared losing my manhood and my life. I was lucky to have my prostate surgically removed before the cancer spread more widely. The most minimal roadmap for recovery was provided. I want to expand the roadmap and the conversation about recovering life and manhood after prostate cancer.
Here, in the blog you can read a variety of survivor’s stories and those of their partners. There are lots of useful resources for your own journey, including videos and my new book. And this is not a substitute for professional medical advice.
The roots of the blog below lie in the step by step sharing of my story as it unfolded over the last five years, together with others who have different experiences right up to the present day. My aim is to mark some points on the rather uncharted landscape, so you can build your own roadmap.
It includes direct and personal accounts of our body, head, heart and soul and partner journeys as well as the inner and outer resources that helped us along the way. Grateful thanks to my wife and an increasing number of other cancer survivors and their partners for sharing stories on these pages. They also helped inspire and inform the book featured on this page.
The goals: rebuild health, expand identities, make the most of what we have.
Before and after my surgery: short videos
Get the lowdown in minutes: click above for short, revealing videos before and after prostate cancer treatment
Journeys of recovery from – and adaptation to – prostate cancer
Below are the thumbnails of the most recent posts – click on each for the full story. For chronological order, please visit diagnosis, treatment and recovery pages. More here every week. I invite you to subscribe (see above and sidebar on the right/below) so you don’t miss a thing.
Impact of Erectile Dysfunction: into the wasteland
20 May 2021: The impact of erectile dysfunction (ED) is like throwing a man and his partner into a wasteland after a wildfire swept through. It is easier to for me to talk about erectile dysfunction than most, because I can [...]
Day 58: Physicality and manhood after cancer
25 April 2020: My energy is pouring into all-round physicality after cancer treatment. It is helping me rediscover my manhood. I still feel sore and a kind of emptiness where my prostate used to be, but the rest of my [...]
Day 43: Talking about erectile dysfunction
10 April 2020: It is very awkward talking about erectile dysfunction (ED). Hardly anybody does - except in derisive jokes. Yet it is extremely common after any form of prostate cancer treatment. Some level of ED affects about half of [...]
Taking stock two months after prostatectomy
27 April 2020: Taking stock after prostatectomy: it's been two months and I have so much to be grateful for. First of all I am grateful for my life! Also, I am grateful for undetectable cancer levels and only very mild [...]
Day 41: Possible recurrence of cancer – testing PSA
8 April 2020: An anxious day waiting for my PSA (Prostate Specific Antigen) blood test results. To get an accurate reading one has to wait six weeks after surgery. I've learned that PSA is very reliable for measuring prostate cancer recurrence [...]
Incontinence: confusion and lucky escape
29 March 2020: Bladder control after radical prostatectomy is difficult and confusing - and I am lucky mine is relatively good. Being away from the city reduces fear of being "caught short" by urine leaks. It gives me time to understand [...]
Day 29: Healthy action to support cancer healing
27 March 2020: I want to take healthy action to support my cancer healing. A month ago my surgeon cut out all or most of the cancerous tissue. Now it is up to me to live healthy, in the widest sense [...]
Day 27: Lockdown and turning inwards, turning to earth
25 March 2020: My cancer and the global pandemic are calling me inwards. It feels like world events are asking all of us to make radical reassessments. Maybe the cancer gave me a head start. It is demanding that I turn [...]
Day 19: Deep desire to reclaim fitness and get back to work
17 March 2020: OK, I admit I have a deep desire to reclaim physical fitness and get back to work after radical prostatectomy. The idea of "normal life" has a great pull on me. In this moment I'm celebrating small wins [...]
Day 13: Healing practices to get through the night
12 March 2020: Spiritual and energetic healing practices really help me get through difficult nights. I am grateful to my wonderful somatic coach, Vanissar Tarakali. She gave me a wonderful ritual to direct energy and compassion towards the parts of my [...]
Day 11: Improving my anti-cancer diet
9 March 2020: I am convinced that a healthy anti-cancer diet improves my chances of keeping cancer at bay. My cousin Conner Middelmann is an expert on anti-cancer diet - how lucky is that?! As I begin to pick up the [...]
Day 9: Basic functions coming back
7 March 2020: It's only nine days since radical prostatectomy and my basic physical and mental functions are coming back. I am down to one strong painkiller per night. Yesterday my wife and I walked our normal 3 kilometre morning walk [...]
Invitation to contribute
Your input is invited
- Please comment on individual blog entries and ask questions. You do need to give your valid email address (to avoid spam) and your contact info won’t be published or abused in any way. You are welcome to use a nickname or even “anonymous.”
- Use the Contact page to open up broader topics
- Consider sharing your story. Example 1 and example 2. Maybe your voice and story also belong here? Let me know or Try this template – you will be surprised how much you learn from telling your story (open to prostate cancer survivors and/or their partners)