Prostate cancer recovery experiences
Experiences along the bumpy road to recovery from prostate cancer and its treatment. This includes my story in chronological order, and invites other men’s stories to be added.
The wobbly zone in my prostate cancer ED recovery map
15 August 2021: 18 months after surgery, my prostate cancer ED recovery is like our late winter weather: unsettled, hopeful, up and down. For the last month or two I thought my erectile dysfunction was over but it’s not so solid after all. Here are some notes from the wobbly zone in my recovery roadmap. First the hopes from a month ago, then the wobbles, and finally where I turn to for emotional and spiritual resilience.
Maybe my ED is over?
My journal entry for 16 July 2021 was as follows:
I don’t really have serious ED any more. I get rock hard […]
Guest post: PSA rising again – personal action
By Dr Rhys Leeming
It’s a devastating moment when, after all your initial treatment and painful recovery and a seemingly miraculous cancer cure, you realise your prostate cancer has actually come back! It happened to me in April 2022. This is about my experience tackling lifestyle changes to combat prostate cancer return.
After the initial rush of adrenaline from that shock result and its consequent sick feeling subsided, a chill wind blew over my heart. Once again I feared the worst and dreaded the journey. Yet, if I step right back and look at the totality of my life thus far, […]
Guest post: tracking nocturnal tumescence after prostatectomy
By Michael Ward
Here’s what I got when I tracked my involuntary nocturnal tumescence for the year after my radical prostatectomy. In plain language, that’s “how hard was my morning wood.”
It was useful during my recovery because I didn’t have full natural erections and was losing heart. I was working at penile rehabilitation, but began to wonder if it was working. Progress was so – up and down – that I got confused whether or not I was improving. So I read up online about different ways of grading erection hardness, and started charting mine, until I could see the trend […]
Guest post: As good as it gets
By George Smalberger
Here’s my good luck story ending in full quality of life recovery after prostate cancer and its treatment. I had my prostate surgically removed two years ago, and I just carry on. I think I am one of the lucky ones because I caught it in time and I have so few side effects from the radical prostatectomy. I’m an entrepreneur – been building businesses since I was 24. Opportunities come to me. Just this year I have worked in 5 African countries and 2 in Europe.
Overall, after my prostate surgery I am free to live my life […]
Guest post: Persistent Pleasuring for the Penis
By Michael Ward
Prostate cancer. Its mere mention provoked dread and fear for me. At first it was the cancer’s threat to my life, then afterwards erectile dysfunction (ED) threatened aspects of my identity. I am so aware of others losing much more to cancer – I feel a heart connection with theirs. And I want to contribute my part to the dialogue. Here is my story of prostate cancer for the first year after treatment – with a focus on those aspects where I was able to actively contribute to my own recovery. I am convinced that persistence in my […]
Guest poem 2: Lonely nights
By Steve Jones
I wrote this about 8 months ago and wanted to share a part of my long, hard, mentally exhausting road back to sexual health and my New normal after my prostate cancer was removed surgically (Robotic Radical Prostatectomy) in December 2020. I continue to improve and am in a really good place now, thanks to the support of my wife and a few support groups.
Some nights were just really tough. I’d wake in the middle of the night, lie there and just yearn to reach out and initiate but something, often, stopped me. This brings about all sorts […]
Year 2: keeping it all together
13 September 2021: My second year since prostate cancer surgery feels like I’m constantly juggling health demands to keep my life together. Separately, there is progress on many fronts: diet, fitness, cancer, urine control, sexual function, relationship adaptation, mental and emotional health. But taking it all together, it feels like just too much to hold. It’s been 18 months now. Deep down I feel shaky, uncertain. Trying to ground myself feels a bit like the brief video of underwater roots attached to this post.
A few weeks ago I imagined making another metaphorical video. But I am not […]
Day 595: Impact of low testosterone
14 October 2021: I’m feeling the impact of low testosterone. From past experience I recognise the subtle changes. For the last couple of months, I’ve generally been a bit more lethargic. I’ve had less physical energy. Even after increasing my daily exercise routine, I am still running slower over my usual Saturday morning 5 kilometre run. And orgasms seem to have become more elusive again.
Today I got the blood test results that confirm my testosterone has dropped from its normal lowish level into the zone where it really affects my mind and body. I also got the good news that […]
Day 633: meditating on soft and hard
21 November 2021: Prostate cancer has required and encouraged me to explore the softer side of my sexuality. For the past year, I and other contributors have been extolling the virtues of erectionless sex, gender fluidity, sensuality and libido that goes beyond sex. Yet there is still a part of me that wants to be hard, driving, penetrating and lustful. Even though my erections remain mostly weak and unreliable.
My new body is messing with my ancient male wiring. At times it is profoundly confusing, and at other times it is opening me and my partner up […]
Guest poem 3: Stoic masculinity
By Steve Jones
I sometimes scroll through the faces of the men who have liked or reacted to a poem or a writing of mine. I see something in us all.
I see something behind the eyes and the smiles knowing what they are holding onto. I know their fear and I know the mask that we men can put on to hide that fear, and to protect our stoic masculinity. Here’s the poem that came to me.
Stoic Masculinity
We hide behind our faces of stoic masculinity.
Some afraid to smile from behind our manly beards, from behind our etched faces.
Faces of character, love, […]
Guest post: better sex after prostate cancer
By John
I was 58 when I was first diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2015. I tried alternative treatments initially as I was not that keen on potential side effects of either surgery or radiation treatment – particularly on my sex life. My elder brother had been diagnosed with prostate cancer also at age 58 in 2009. He had robotic surgery and follow up radiation therapy.
Initially it was ‘I would rather die than have my prostate removed’. This was based on research I did following my brother’s diagnosis and is why I tried alternative treatments. Sex was really one of the […]
Success with Viagra – 2 years after radical prostatectomy
13 December 2021 – While adapting to and celebrating the joys of softer sexuality, I also admit to pining for the return of hard erections. Drugs like Viagra and Cialis can help but it is complicated. Today I tried again with the famous little blue pill and it worked! What a lot of fun we had.
I know it is obvious, but there are things some people like to do sexually with an erection. And without the hardness it’s just not the same.
Reflecting on my learning about penile rehabilitation, I now realise there are two quite different potential uses for […]
Guest post 2: orchidectomy as an ADT alternative
By John
In June this year I chose to have my testicles surgically removed, as an alternative to a lifetime on Androgen Deprivation Therapy (ADT). In terms of my overall quality of life after orchidectomy, it is working better for me than taking the Zoladex hormone suppression drugs. On my initial diagnosis seven years ago I was so focused on loss of my erectile function that I felt ‘I would rather die than have my prostate removed.’ It is amazing to me that I am now at the stage where I voluntarily chose a treatment option that was nightmarish to […]
Day 716: Boosting testosterone after prostate cancer
12 February 2022: Today I started a course of treatment with the intention of naturally boosting my low testosterone after prostate cancer. It is important because testosterone is a miracle hormone (actually for both men and women.) It helps build and maintain muscle, contributes to positive moods and of course supports libido. But over the last 4 months my testosterone level has gone way below what is normal for my age and gender.
Treating low testosterone after you have been diagnosed with prostate cancer is tricky and inherently carries some risk. This is because testosterone acts like a fertiliser for […]
Two years on: how prostate cancer has softened me
27 February 2022: There is so much to be grateful for, two years after my radical prostatectomy. And there are losses and changes that continue to upset and confuse me.
Beforehand, my urologist said cryptically “after I remove your prostate, you won’t be quite the same man.” I just hoped for the best. Now, after two years, I am getting some idea of what he could have meant. There is a lot that I like about the new man that is emerging, and the wonderful family and friends who continue to bring joy into my life and the world.
Here’s a […]
Day 750: Needing to pee and nowhere to go
18 March 2022: Two years after my prostatectomy, my urine control is quite good. Tonight it got a pressure test.
It’s always tough when you are away from home and need to pee. It gets tougher after prostate cancer surgery, because you have only one rather second-rate urine control valve remaining. Tonight I walked around for over an hour in Zagreb, Croatia while desperate to pee. I imagined big wet patches appearing on my trousers repeatedly, while walking amongst throngs of holidaymakers. It got quite comical.
It was a wonderful clear evening toward the end of winter, cold and crisp. After a […]
Cock rings help you get harder
Simple cock rings support erection firmness
Read this if you are on the mend from prostate cancer treatment, or if you have mild erectile dysfunction for any reason, and would like to get harder erections naturally with a cock ring (rubber penis ring). Cock rings are simple, cheap and amazingly effective erection aids for many men. This article focuses on the simple, squishy, stretchy type usually made from silicone rubber.
Particularly after prostate cancer treatment, your penis may feel a bit rubbery, as if it has lost sensitivity. You may only be able to get fully erect from hand or oral stimulation […]
Day 877: Benefits of a modest boost in testosterone
23 July 2022, Victoria BC: My testosterone is back in the normal range. My PSA is still undetectable. And I am celebrating the benefits of a (modest) boost in testosterone. Today I ran my fastest 5 km since 2014! (26 minutes and 15 seconds at Clover Point parkrun on Vancouver Island.)
Over the last 9 months I have been through a significant dip in testosterone. I really felt the impact on my physical fitness but was afraid to attempt hormone boosting due to my prostate cancer history. Now a very successful herbal remedy has helped my body build […]
Day 907: Phantom erections
22 August 2022: What a relief to find I am not alone with the phenomenon of phantom erections! Today a fellow member posted the following in an online prostate cancer support group. He dreamed he had a full-on erection. Then he woke up and felt down there – only to find nothing happening. Zero. Nada.
There was a deluge of responses in the group. Many of us have the experience of feeling all the telltale sensations of arousal and erection, even after prostate cancer treatment. Yet we need ourselves or our partners to grope around down below to see if any […]
Day 920: Libido returning
4 September 2022: After prostate cancer – and then an intense bout of Covid last month – my body is reawakening to the gift of returning libido. At the beginning of August I spent a week floating off the planet with the virus. Now life is infusing back into my body, even though erections remain elusive.
It has been like a speeded-up review of my slow recovery from 2020 prostate surgery. I know I am not alone, but each person’s story is different. However there is no doubt that huge numbers of men are struggling with the physical […]
Diagnosis and treatment
You are welcome to visit these pages to read more about how I found out I had prostate cancer and prostate cancer treatment – radical prostatectomy surgery experience itself. These posts include my own story, other men’s stories, and my wife’s commentary.