Let’s talk about prostate cancer and men’s sexual health

This is an invitation to join a live, inclusive real-time conversation circle where we share our experiences with prostate cancer and men’s sexual health. It is a sensitive subject and we share the burden with respect.

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Why

If you are reading this, you have probably been whacked at the roots of your being and/or that of your relationship.

Prostate cancer and/or erectile dysfunction (ED) challenges men’s sexual health in the most primal way possible. It is hard for anybody to talk about it in public or often even with loved ones.

This group is a chance to speak openly and honestly about all aspects of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health arising from these challenges.

Guiding principles

  • All voices welcome
  • Give respect but not advice
  • Tell our own stories
  • Content and personal identity confidential
  • Direct questions welcome. Answers optional
  • Diversity of all kinds is welcome

April topic: marking our 50th call

In April we are planning to celebrate our 50th group meeting since the series began in July, 2021. We will meet in the afternoon in the Americas, evening in Europe and Africa, and early morning the next day in Australasia. See detailed times by time zone below. Timing rotates to accommodate different time zones each time we meet.

You are welcome to share as much or as little as you choose. Each call also includes open time where we simply share our stories and how our journey is unfolding, month by month. There is usually time to go deeper in small groups.

Previous topics

In previous sessions we’ve talked amazingly frankly about recovery from cancer, hormone treatment, cock rings, relationship issues, incontinence and urine control, the roles of both prescription and other drugs in our treatment and recovery, diet and fitness, how our sexuality and/or sensuality has adapted to the new realities of our bodies, and emotional and spiritual health and wellbeing. Other topics over the last three years have included

  • Who we tell about our prostate cancer and side effects – and what we tell, how and why
  • Rising PSA and how we cope with cancer returning after initial treatment
  • Self pleasuring
  • Emotional distancing between survivors and their partners or caregivers
  • Penile rehabilitation
  • Orgasms, before and after prostate cancer
  • Aging
  • Recovery vs Adaptation
  • Details of erectile function and dysfunction – including how some men become multi-orgasmic after prostate surgery
  • Milestones in our prostate cancer path and what they mean to us
  • Testosterone – what we love about it, what we fear about it
  • Sexual inventiveness with differently-able bodies
  • Arousal – for ourselves and our partners, with new bodies and advancing age
  • Aside from intercourse what are you and your partner doing for intimacy?
  • What we have lost
  • Acknowledging the support we get from loved ones and the support we yearn for
  • Breaking the silence about soft penises
  • What we’ve learned
  • Talking with partners – what works and what doesn’t work
  • Androgen Deprivation Treatment (ADT)
  • How prostate cancer has affected our senses of self, of manhood, and what gender fluidity and sexuality shifts have emerged.
  • Vulnerability and fluidity
  • Climacturia
  • Erectile differences
  • What cancer means to us and our loved ones a while after our treatment

Who

Conversations are open to anybody who is affected, including male and female partners. Everybody must abide by our rules about respect, diversity and advice. These circles are completely anonymous, and you can choose whether or not to show your face at all.

Why I am convening and curating these conversations

Prostate cancer and erectile dysfunction (separately or together) are beasts. All those affected need support, and we have to adapt to all kinds of changes. Things don’t always go the way we want them to.

Here’s an opportunity to talk openly and be heard. Members of the group are finding that real-time live conversation generates a wisdom that goes beyond what each individual brings. It also helps us break our sense of isolation.

I am a prostate cancer survivor and I have erectile dysfunction (ED)*. My cancer treatment has gone mercifully well, and ED has been a bigger challenge. I have tried a lot of things to support recovery and I am seeing signs of life down there.

This group is about frank talk amongst survivors and their partners. It doesn’t replace medical care and attention. I am not a medical professional but rather a fellow survivor and facilitator.

What it isn’t

This is not a source of medical advice until and unless we invite experts for that specific purpose. And while you might get support from the group, none of us is here to give or get professional counselling.

This is not a helpline. We only meet about once a month and you may need urgent support. For urgent help, please contact your medical team, and/or your local Prostate Cancer Foundation. I’m also building a list of support groups in the Resources section.

How it works

We meet on Zoom. There is no charge to participate. Nobody has to show their video and you can use just your first name or even a pseudonym. This is a developing initiative and we are figuring out what works together.

You don’t have to speak but you are expected to be fully present for the whole call. To join the group, please complete and submit the form below including a brief note on your connection with prostate cancer and/or men’s sexual health.

Register here to join global prostate cancer and men’s sexual health conversation group

Complete and submit this form to request to join this Zoom-based Recovering Men peer support group. It is run on a volunteer basis and it is not a helpline.

Next meeting: Monday, April 7th, 2025. Times by zone:

  • Americas: 12 pm Pacific time | 3 pm Eastern time
  • Africa: 9 pm CAT
  • Europe: 21h00 CET
  • UK: 8 pm
  • Western Australia, Hong Kong, Singapore and China: 3 am on Tuesday 8th
  • Sydney: 5 am Tuesday 8th
  • New Zealand: 7 am on the 8th

I (Mish) am facilitating the sessions with the help of all who join the calls. It is a peer support group and not a source of, or replacement for, professional medical advice.

Please note: you will get an email response within 24 hours with call details. It helps if you add mish@ to your allowed email list.
This is not a definitive list! Just to get some sense of your interests and concerns...

Your personal data will be cared for under our privacy policy. Specifically, it won’t be used for any purpose other than sending you information about prostate cancer survival and forthcoming group meetings.

Registrations and privacy

You need to register at least 24 hours in advance to get the link for the call. Use your real name and real email address to register but these won’t be disclosed to anybody without your full and explicit permission.

On the actual call you can remain anonymous if you so choose. I will exclude anybody who attempts to gatecrash sessions and/or break the rules of the group (which will be reviewed and revised together in the group). Robotic transcription services such as Otter will also be excluded. Doors to the meeting close soon after the start time, to enable the deeper conversations without disruption.

There will be no recordings of any sort.

–  –  –  –  –  –  – Please join and/or invite others who belong on the call – – – – – –

*I was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2019 and had my prostate surgically removed early in 2020. Prostate cancer affects millions of men and couples worldwide, gay and straight, mostly older but also some younger. Yet when I was diagnosed in November 2019 the “survivor’s roadmap” seemed to be completely uncharted territory. And the impact of erectile dysfunction is like throwing a man and his partner into a wasteland after a wildfire swept through.